Why Do Marital Relationships Often Become Tense After Having a Baby? | Safe and Sound

Welcoming a new member into the family brings great happiness, but also brings profound changes in married life. Couples often face increased stress after having a child. Here are the main causes and solutions suggested by psychological experts .

Phi Thuy Linh | Bachelor of Public Health – Mental Health Care Application Safe and Sound

Institute of Medical Technology Applications

1. Lack of sleep and prolonged fatigue

Prolonged lack of sleep makes both husband and wife always tired.

After having a child, especially when the child is just born, parents have to stay up all night to feed, change diapers and put the child to sleep. Prolonged lack of sleep makes both husband and wife always tired, stressed and irritable. When there is not enough energy to work and take care of the family, the relationship between husband and wife is easily affected. To overcome this, psychological experts advise that husband and wife should divide the work reasonably, ensuring that both have time to rest. In addition, asking for help from relatives or hiring a babysitter is also an effective solution to help reduce pressure.

2. Changes in roles and responsibilities

The arrival of children often entails a major change in the roles of each person. The wife often spends most of her time taking care of the children, while the husband has to take on additional financial burdens. This can easily lead to feelings of abandonment in the husband and fatigue in the wife. According to psychologists, to cope, couples need to communicate regularly and share their feelings with each other. Understanding that both are getting used to their new roles and need time to adapt will help reduce unnecessary conflicts. At the same time, supporting and encouraging each other is the best way to maintain a bond.

3. Lack of time for each other

When having children, all the attention and time of the couple is often focused on the child. They have less time to spend with each other, leading to a feeling of distance. This can reduce romance and make the relationship between husband and wife become tense. To overcome this, psychologists advise couples to try to arrange time to date at home or go out when possible. Even a simple dinner at home when the child is asleep can help warm up the couple's feelings. Most importantly, both need to understand that the relationship between husband and wife is a solid foundation for the development of the family.

4. Financial pressure

Financial pressure can easily cause conflicts in marital relationships.

The cost of raising a child, from daily necessities, medical care to education, often puts a lot of pressure on couples. Without good financial preparation, this burden can easily cause conflicts in the relationship. To reduce stress, couples should work together to create a reasonable spending plan, prioritizing essential needs first. Sharing financial worries and finding solutions together, such as saving unnecessary expenses or finding additional sources of income, will help both of you feel lighter.

5. Lack of external support

Not every family has the support of grandparents or relatives. Taking care of a child without help can easily make couples feel lonely and exhausted. Psychologists recommend that parents seek support from the community, such as joining parenting groups on social networks or around the living area. This not only helps them gain more experience in taking care of children but also receives encouragement and sharing from other parents.

6. Differences in parenting

Each person has their own thoughts and views on child care and upbringing, leading to conflicts if they are not in agreement. This disagreement can cause long-term conflicts, affecting the relationship between husband and wife. To resolve this, the two people need to sit down, discuss and agree on the basic principles in raising children. Respecting each other's opinions and being willing to learn to adjust appropriate methods is the best way to build a harmonious family environment, the psychologist shared.

7. Pressure from society

Society often sets high expectations for parenting, from childcare to balancing work and family. These expectations are sometimes unrealistic, causing couples to feel pressured and prone to conflict. To reduce the pressure, focus on your family's happiness instead of trying to meet other people's standards. At the same time, don't hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional for appropriate advice and stress relief.

8. How can a psychologist help?

Psychologists play an important role in improving marital relationships, especially when couples have young children. They help couples communicate more effectively, reduce criticism, and build consensus through psychotherapy.

The division of responsibilities in the family is also supported by psychologists, helping couples balance between childcare and personal development. This will help reduce pressure and increase consensus between husband and wife. At the same time, psychologists will guide emotional management methods, helping parents reduce stress and avoid negative emotions affecting the relationship.

In addition, psychologists will also encourage couples to spend quality time to warm up their feelings, while adjusting unrealistic expectations of both. They also guide parents on how to coordinate in raising children, avoiding unnecessary conflicts.

Stress in the marital relationship after having children is inevitable, but with consensus and effort from both sides, all difficulties can be overcome. Remember, open communication and mutual support are the keys to maintaining family happiness. Do not hesitate to seek psychological advice and companionship on the journey of parenthood.

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